12-October-2020
REMINISCENCES BY MONKS AND NUNS
Swami Yatiswarananda As We Know Him – Volume I (Sri Ramakrishna Math, Mylapore, Chennai – 600 004) p: 469 – 472
Chapter 38:
Associations with a Great Monk – 02
SWAMI BRAHMESHANANDA
The author is a former editor of the Vedanta Kesari, now living at Ramakrishna Advaita Ashrama, Varanasi.
Receiving Initiation
In 1962, I went to Nagpur for receiving Diksha. Swami Yatiswaranandaji used to take personal interview of each candidate before Diksha (We used to be rather afraid about this interview and used to prepare for it as for a viva examination!). During the interview, he asked me whether I accepted Sri Ramakrishna. I said, ’Yes.’ The fact was that I was devoted to Swami Vivekananda but had hardly any devotion to Sri Ramakrishna. I used to voraciously read the Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda, but the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna never inspired me or appealed to me, and I had hardly read it. (Swami Satswarupanandaji knew this and had asked me to read at least some part of it because during initiation, if I am asked, I might be able to say, ’Yes, I have read parts of it.’ He had even suggested that I might read at least those portions where Narendra (Swami Vivekananda) has figured in the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna).
That day, after the interview, I thought that it was not true to say that I accept Sri Ramakrishna. Hence that evening, after evening prayer, when Swami Yatiswaranandaji used to meet devotees, I sought for another interview. In that meeting, I confessed and said that I ’accept’ Swami Vivekananda but not Sri Ramakrishna. At this Swami Yatiswaranandaji immediately said, ’Then don’t take initiation . . .’ And added, ’I shall be your Guru (?!) and guide you.’
I had waited for full one year for initiation, and at the very door of it, I was being denied. I broke down and started weeping bitterly in front of Swami Yatiswaranandaji. He remained calm; did not say anything. Another Swami took me out of the room.
Next morning, when I came to the Math, others who had come with me: Ravi and Dr and Mrs Kher, were sitting for initiation. I was in a mood of frustration as well as resentment, and as I was sitting on a chair behind the monastic quarters, Swami Bhaskareshwaranandaji, the President of the Nagpur Math, and a very great saint, came to me, and sat down on a chair near me, and told me thus: ‘Why don’t you accept Sri Ramakrishna? You accept Swami Vivekananda. What has he said about Sri Ramakrishna? That through the dust of Sri Ramakrishna’s feet hundreds of Vivekanandas can be produced. Still you don’t accept Sri Ramakrishna? Then he made a startling statement: ‘Sri Ramakrishna is not God. He is the Father of God.’
As luck would have it, Swami Satswarupanandaji came that day to Nagpur from Hyderabad, where he had gone after leaving Indore. He learnt all about my problem and talked to me. He said that at the time of initiation, Swami Yatiswaranandaji identifies himself with Sri Ramakrishna. Then it is Sri Ramakrishna who initiates. Thus, Swami Yatiswaranandaji distinctively and clearly feels that he is not initiating and Sri Ramakrishna is initiating. If, therefore, I do not accept Sri Ramakrishna as my Guru, how can he initiate me? This was a great statement. I thought what a great blessing it would be to be initiated by Sri Ramakrishna! I may not accept him as my Ishta, but I certainly accept him as the Guru. In the light of this knowledge, the statement by Swami Yatiswaranandaji that he will be my guru and guide me, even if I don’t take initiation, is significant.
Doubts cleared, I again met Swami Yatiswaranandaji in the evening and told my decision. He then initiated me next morning. I was not given Sri Ramakrishna’s mantra.
Swami Yatiswaranandaji was extremely attractive, a charming personality. He had a divine attraction. In me there was a subtle desire to meet him more often, and that had prompted me to go to him on the above pretext.
Grateful thanks to
